The Return: A Weekend Seminar
Can you love like you’ve never been hurt?
No, fortunately, you can’t.
The only way you will ever love is as if you’ve been hurt in the past. You have. We all have. You can’t remove your past hurt anymore than you can one of your arms or legs – it’s a part of who you are. It’s played a vital role in shaping the person you have become.
Here’s the real question you have to answer: How has the pain you have experienced in the past affected your capacity to love in the present?
What does this expression mean to you?:
Live an original life, not the one you’ve inherited.
Are you living an original life – a life of your own making? Or are you reacting to the hurt that’s been inflicted on you by others and living this reaction over and over again, day after day?
When you were born, all you desired was love. This is still all you desire. When others did not give you the love you desired in the form you desired it in, you launched a process you still practice to this day. You designed this process to protect you from further pain, because the pain you experienced hurt too much. You grew up believing that you should flee from suffering, or even the possibility of suffering. This process has brought you to where you are today, a place where, if you are like most of the people you share this planet with, your perception of love prevents you from loving.
The Return is a weekend seminar with one simple goal: to enable you to return to your original nature, rediscover your core values and deepest life Vision, and experience truly love and freedom – characterized by an expansive lightness of being, a renewed capacity to feel, and a revitalized heart connection with yourself and others – once again.
What Will The Return Do For Me?
By participating in The Return, you will learn how to
What Will The Return Do For Me?
There are three stages in life: simplicity; complexity; and the simplicity beyond complexity. You were born in a state of simplicity: a natural, loving vulnerability and openness to the world. Then you entered the state of complexity: trying new things, new relationships, new experiences. You were hurt – first by the people closest to you, and then by others. You have been reacting to this hurt ever since. You are most likely still living in this state of complexity. That’s why so much about your life and this world does not make sense to you, and why you have been unable to return to the original state you were born in – simplicity – in which you were able to love purely, with a completely open heart.
You long to be vulnerable again, but you can’t. You yearn to once again feel closeness, intimacy, and uninhibited companionship with another human being. But you can’t. Why? Because the way back to simplicity is not by avoiding or running away from complexity. Your attempts to do so – to forget your past hurt and love again with reckless abandon are always – ALWAYS – derailed when the other person inevitably disappoints you and reinforces the drama you have come to know too well, in which you extend yourself to another human being, get hurt, and then dejectedly retreat into yourself again, reeling and licking your wounds from another failed connection.
While you can’t run from complexity, there is now a way to move through it – to the simplicity beyond complexity. This revolutionary, life-transforming technique – which you will learn over an entire weekend – is called The Return because it will enable you to return to your original nature that embraced love, freedom and a true, heartfelt connection with others.
Yet the simplicity you will return to will be different. The love you will experience after The Return will not be the innocent love you once knew. It will not be the idyllic love you have been unsuccessfully trying to integrate into your life alongside your career and the other competing demands on your time. It will be a radically different construction of love – entirely unique to you and rooted in the personal values you have strengthened over a lifetime. Your past suffering will shift emotionally within you from something you struggle to avoid to something you hold in your heart with sublime gratitude, with the awareness that it has enabled you to become the person you are today.
What Will My Life Be Like After The Return?
Over this weekend, you will have the opportunity to return to the natural state you were born into: a state of acceptance, non-judgment, wonder, curiosity, interconnectedness with the people around you, and love. A state of heart consciousness.
After completing The Return, you will be better equipped to:
Anthony Silard has provided life and leadership coaching to thousands of individuals for almost two decades. His next book, The Connection: Unlock the Power Within to Create the Life You Desire, will be published by Simon & Schuster in January. While coaching the CEOs and senior leaders of Fortune 100 companies such as Disney, IBM and GE; small businesses; and the world’s largest nonprofits, such as CARE, Save the Children and the American Red Cross, Anthony has discovered that the most difficult challenges a person experiences in the way they interact with others – whether in the office or at home – can always be traced back to a person in their life they need to forgive. In Anthony’s words:
We make judgments about the people who have hurt us the most in our lives because these judgments provide a false security that by doing so we will not experience the pain any longer, and that we will walk a new path that does not attract similar hurt from others. The opposite always happens. Each judgment creates an emotional entanglement with another person. Our hopes for something better become dashed as these emotional chains harden and then replicate in every new relationship. Many of us become bound for a lifetime. The Return will enable you to break the emotional chains that bind you and return to your original state of curiosity, wonder, true freedom, and love.
What Are Participants Saying?
Tony’s facilitation for me was authentic, skilled, vulnerable, accessible. I believe he modeled compassionate, empathic listening. Specifically, I observed his sensitivity to participants’ needs and struggles and he was able to diffuse what I perceived to be potentially dangerous and painful exchanges. He did this with skill and grace.
I found Anthony to be very open and caring about our group of individuals. He was a very good listener and at the same time was able to keep us on target. I liked his openness and positive feedback.
I experienced Tony as a very sensitive, authentic, and experienced group facilitator. He was patient, non-critical or judgmental, inclusive, positive, picked up on participants’ positive actions and rewarded them, allowed less confident members to join in or not, and never missed a teaching point
Tony has a way of being that is authentic and welcoming. His passion and commitment was evident. The approach was powerfully and passionately delivered… PASSION and TRUTH are contagious! Tony is an example of a confident, compassionate, gentle person who has made a difference in this world. He is very special and a treasure.
The Return: Session Descriptions Your Five True Identities
Vision without Action is a daydream. Action without Vision is a nightmare. — Ancient Japanese proverb
In the first session of The Return, you will learn your Five True Identities, and how they will guide you from this day forward to create the life you desire. You will also learn how our tendency to stray from our Five True Identities always results in our making decisions that alienate us from ourselves and others, and derail our best laid plans. Consider whether each of the following statements is True or False as it applies to where you currently are in your life:
The first two sessions of The Return – based on Anthony Silard’s book Full Alignment: Transform Your Life Vision into Action (which will be provided to all participants) – blend psychology, philosophy, personal development and life/leadership coaching into transformative strategies to
The Language That Is You
It is because of the silences in between the notes that you hear music. Otherwise you would just hear noise.
When you listen to an excellent jazz pianist, or a rock ‘n roll guitarist, it causes a sensation within you. It removes you from the laborious world of your thoughts and enables you to experience an emotion, a feeling, a sublime experience of being entirely present in the here and now: Alive. Some associate this sensation with love, truth, bliss. Yet the rock ‘n roll guitarist or jazz pianist that creates this amazing sensation within you that goes beyond logic had to learn a very deliberate, detailed set of chords and notes – a language – and adhere to its strict rules in order to create such beautiful, evocative music.
Every language that we use today – whether it’s the language of guitar, or piano, or English or Spanish – was created by the Vision of a group of people, a Vision that evolved over time into what we have grown accustomed to speaking every day.
“How does this relate to me?” you may be thinking. You will be remembered for the language you uniquely develop over a lifetime. Your connection to your values and deeper intuition about how you want to act toward others and determine your everyday choices will enable you to create the guidelines and parameters of your language.
What will be your language? What rules will govern it? How will you create and then speak it for a lifetime? This language defines who you are and what you will become.
Your language is comprised of your deepest values and designed by your Five True Identities (which you will learn in the first session), and is constantly evolving. In this session, you will learn how to proactively create and then speak your own language.
Learning how to design and speak your own language will enable you to:
The Rope and The Snake: What We Fear We Draw Near
Fear comes from doubting that you will learn what you need to know to live the life you desire.
Fear is like a group of little barking dogs. Run from them, and they will chase you for the rest of your life. Face them, and they will flee. Whatever you think about you attract to your life – including anything you fear. By fearing something, then, you empower it. Instead of moving toward your life Vision, you move toward the object of your fear.
How? First by running from it (repulsion), and then by being attracted back toward it through a MARF (see below).
What is your greatest fear? Unless you confront it, you will attract it into your life. This sounds daunting, but here’s the good news: your true fear may not be what you think it is. It may be a fear of something that’s much less harmful, yet that lurks much deeper within you. Once you confront your fears, you will become much more capable of and open to accessing the much greater love that lays dormant within you.
In this transformational workshop, you will come to understand the true purpose of fear, why God placed this potent emotion inside you, and how to leverage it for your own personal growth. Come to this workshop ready to confront your greatest fear, and you will leave with your fear no longer controlling you, but instead walking alongside you as a friend. Not your best friend, but a partner on your journey that you understand and know how to handle. This new understanding of fear will not only help you to rid your life of the negative aspects of fear, but will also help you to reap its positive benefits.
In this session, you will learn:
Magnetic Attractor Repulsor Fields (MARFS): What They Are, How You Get Stuck in Them, and How to Break the Emotional Chains that Obstruct Your Freedom
Whatever you do not learn to love in your life, you will repeat.
This session comes from a revelation Anthony had while hiking alone in Argentine Patagonia a few years ago. The central premise: For anyone whom you have ever met in your lifetime – esp. a parent, family member or partner – whom you have not learned to love, you will repeat the same relationship dynamic until you learn to forgive, appreciate and, yes, love them as they are. This synchronizes with the Beyond Forgiveness and The Rope and The Snake: What We Fear We Draw Near sessions, and is the core framework of The Return.
A MARF is a Magnetic Attractor Repulsor Field. There is a very intricate process that causes a MARF to take hold of your life. When you pass judgment on someone for how they have acted toward you instead of loving them exactly as they are, you set in motion an unending pendulum swing between attraction and repulsion that begins with your dissociation from their behaviors and ends with your acquiring the exact same character quality you’ve judged!
In this breakthrough session, Anthony explains how this revolutionary process takes place, and then guides you – through an elaborate series of exercises – in how to eliminate your MARFs. Once you clean up your MARFs, you will feel as if you have been given a fresh start to life – as if you are free, and traveling without heavy baggage for the first time. You are. You will enable the key to your self-imposed prison cell to materialize. You will experience firsthand the immense power of love to set you free.
Once free from your MARFs, you will:
Whatever you judge, you will become.
Once you are beyond forgiveness, you will be better able to:
Cultivating Heart Consciousness
When we look for love, we seek it in exactly the form we desire it in, and ignore it in all the various forms in which it already appears in our lives.
The 10 Universal Principles of Love will help you to:
Anthony Silard once wrote, “I looked for love and it was nowhere. I loved and it was everywhere.” What does the term “unconditional love” mean to you? What are your preconceptions about love? In this profound workshop that deals with the deepest part of each of us, you will discover how the image of love that is firmly entrenched in your mind is precisely what prevents you from experiencing true love and inner freedom.What does it mean to have ‘heart consciousness’? Is it possible to learn how to make your life decisions from the heart rather than the mind? If it’s possible, is it advisable?
Galileo once wrote, “I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect, has intended us to forgo their use.” Was the Italian astronomer and philosopher correct? When does the mind help us, and when does it get us into trouble? How can we tap into the deeper consciousness that resides within our hearts – the consciousness that intuitively understands our life’s greatest purpose, that knows when it is in the presence of truth and when it’s ‘being taken’ – and has its reasons that go beyond reason?
Do we understand what love truly is? Our minds frequently misinterpret love and assign it qualities that are not love at all, such as possessiveness, insistence, competition and craving. We often ignore the love that is given to us from ourselves, our families, our friends, and become fixated on the one specific form we crave it in, e.g. “My father’s saying something supportive about my new career choice” or “My partner writing me a card, or bringing me flowers, or saying ‘I love you’ more often” or “Someone thinking I’m attractive and asking me out.” The more you recognize the love that already exists within and around you, the more you will attract it in the new form you desire it in.
What Others Experienced…
Tony has a unique personal character/style that creates an atmosphere that is warm, relaxed and casual. The way he speaks and interacts with others makes people willing to open up and be honest during the workshop.
— Tan Mongkolpla, George Washington University
I was not planning on attending the workshop because there was too much going on in my life. Work was really hectic and I had a deadline coming up. But once I got to the class I realized it was more relaxing to be there, spending some time focusing on myself, rather than being at home worrying about all that I had to do.
— Francyni Salido, World Bank
I thought the facilitation was great. Tony did an excellent job of keeping everyone on task and holding interest throughout. His facilitation style was relaxed and engaging. He made an effort to connect with the group by sharing pieces of himself and his own history, and by consistently soliciting feedback on activities and agenda items. I appreciated Tony’s sincerity, his flexibility, and his obvious expertise in the topics discussed.
— Michaela Kelaghan, The Latin American Youth Center
Tony really facilitated rather than trying to impose his ideas or beliefs. He led us through a very sequential process of coming up with the goals and objectives that we had in our minds already. Yet when we asked for suggestions and his opinion he was willing to give it and was very knowledgeable and experienced.
— Heidi Kilgore, ROCK
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